Good & Faithful

Time to start the Christmas knitting

2006-08-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

I'm looking through my stash, planning Christmas knits for my kids. I always think I'm going to do this in May, but of course once the fresh spring breezes blow, I don't feel like holding wool and needles. And it goes without saying that the heat and humidity of summer are incompatible with knitting, not counting the fact that I had a broken hand all summer. It's healing, but it's still sore if I grip a pencil too tightly, or do anything repetitive. Because I'm a dreamer, I envision each of my children unwrapping a lovingly handknit sweater at Christmas, awestruck by the beauty of the garment that I, their mother, intuitively felt would be a cherished possession and just what the recipient wanted!

Last year, Justin got a sweater which was technically finished in January. That's all I was able to do. I started in October near Halloween. I ripped that sweater back to the beginning three times because I wasn't satisfied. I re-did each sleeve twice. It's a beautiful sweater now, but it's "scratchy" so he doesn't like to wear it. So, I'm going to add a soft alpaca neckband lining in black, and he'll have the plushest sweater around. I have one more skein of the yarn, and I may add pockets or keep it to make it longer as he grows, since there is a generous fit in the shoulders and arms.

I haven't finished the socks I started because my hand broke, and the teeny needles are still to hard for me to hold. I could have used them many times this summer, though, because it is so freezing cold in my office.

I'm going to start something in a green pullover for Willem with some cotton yarn I ordered from a discount website last year. He's grown so much, I may be making just a sleeveless pullover or singlet for summer. This football practice has given him gargantuan shoulders and muscley arms, a very handsome V-shape. I haven't made him a garment since first grade! It was a patchwork pullover vest with v-neck made with left-over yarns. He used to love it, and wore it all the time. I guess he grew so fast over the years, and I've had such limited knitting time I feared to start anything lest he outgrow it before it was done. His doctor says his growth is slowing down, and that he'll probably reach his full height next year, so I may be safe now. His tastes are very homey - he likes to wear the sweater vest my Baba made for my father many years ago. But will he like it so much if he gets any negative comments from classmates?

Milana can still wear the cotton hooded pullover I made for her in Kindergarten! It was a generous, slouchy fit and the yarn has held up great. She found it in the sale bin at Never Enough Knitting and I had exactly enough to finish this sweater. I think I had a yard of yarn left over. I still picture her walking to school in first grade wearing this sweater, her pink corduroy skirt, her black ankle boots with heels and telling me, out of the blue, "This is a casual look!" She's very moody about her clothes, loving something one day and hating it next week. I'm leery of making something without her knowledge, but on the other hand sometimes just the surprise of it all makes her like it.

Home improvements are going to resume soon. I believe I've finally found a roofer who can fix the leaking around my dormers. I'm refinishing my bathroom cabinet - still! I'm going to stain it ebony, and I found some nice tile at Home Depot which is a mixture of tumbled marble and glass! Very pretty. The next need will be new floor tile in the upstairs bathroom. Previous leakage from the toilet tank loosened the peel-and-stick tile, and I have enough left from other projects to do this tiny floor. Justin wants to help so he can learn how. Then, down the road, I think wall tile would look well in that bathroom to give it an elegant feel. But that is not a need, and right now it's all about need. The roof is a need, some pillars and piers in the basement to correct the sagging floors are needs. The bathroom vanity downstairs is a need.

We plastered the two walls in my former bedroom which is now my father's bedroom. We didn't use any plaster washers because I couldn't find them! Just as well, because I know there are pipes in those walls, and I didn't want to nick a water pipe and get a slow drip that I wouldn't know about until real damage had been done. Justin and Willem helped tremendously, and were proud of themselves for learning this new skill. We didn't have time before Dad moved in to sand smooth and paint, but his furniture is covering most of it. Milana was begging and then threatening me so she could learn how to plaster, too, but I couldn't let her. I just feel that the more she knows how to do, the greater the chances that she will end up with a husband who will do nothing. It is a fear born of my own experience, but I want to make sure that doesn't happen for her. I told the boys that if they ever find out that their sister is plastering walls, cutting grass and sanding furniture, they must go to her house and beat up her husband. They said they would. I know I'm crazy, but what can you do?

Long Time No Blog

2006-08-02T11:42:00.000-07:00

It's been a summer of transition. As most of you know, my father has suffered a fairly severe stroke. He is physically fine, but lost enough memory and vision to make independent living unlikely for the foreseeable future. After much agonizing decision-making, we have finally determined that the best thing to do right now is move him in with our family in Wheaton. He and we are committed to his further recovery with the goal of independent living in mind, while being realistic about what could happen. I am interviewing people for the job of being his companion for part of the day, making meals, taking meds, getting him to appointments, getting him out into the new (for him) community. We know this won't be easy for him. He is mourning the sale of his home of 32 years. He is keeping alive the dream of being able to travel in the future. My sister has done a heroic job of caring for him this summer, and I am grateful to her for that.

We've taken our house off the market, naturally. I enrolled my kids in school today, and I remembered how many times I waited until August to enroll them because I thought that surely this was the year we would move. Life's ways seem to keep us in Wheaton, which has been a good town for us. We have excellent friends here, a great church, good schools and parks. I suppose that if I ever decided that we would never move from here, some great job would turn up somewhere else.

I have a high school freshman this year! In fact, all three are in different schools this year. Justin starts middle school, and he is so full of his own maturity and pre-teenagerness that it's a pleasure to see him enjoying being himself. He is looking forward to the challenge, and he feels confident he's up to it. Not much has come of the garage band composed of friends who don't play instruments, but it started him on learning to play the guitar. He recently remembered that I said he could have a green mohawk. While he doesn't want the mohawk anymore, he does want the green. We'll try colored hairspray, I think, because I'm not sure how permanent Kool Aid is.

Milana was really looking forward to us moving to WI so she could go to school with Sophie, but she is equally thrilled to stay here so she can still see her beloved 2nd grade teacher, Ms. Darin. She has also pointed out, several times, that this is the house she was born in, and the only place she has ever lived, and no one else will appreciate that. She enjoyed a two-week LaLa-palooza with cousins in Shorewood, visiting Betty Brinn's Children's Museum and the Art Museum. This past week, she wanted to become a redhead, so we got some light red henna. She was disappointed by the subtlety of the color, so we went back for some bright red henna. Again, a subtle rosiness to her natural color. When it wears off, she wants to try blonde highlights!

Willem is becoming more and more like his Uncle Mikey everyday. The walk, the laconic speaking style, the slow thoughtfulness, the friends needing much social work, the good looks. Four years of high school, then college is my plan. I think his plan extends only as far as the next game cube fix.

JJ was the thoughtful host this summer, greeting realtors at the door, following them throughout the house and yard, ever interested in whatever anyone was doing or saying. He had a little cold earlier, and spent a sneezy two weeks. I had never had a cat with a cold before. He didn't whine and complain, just sneezed and went on his normal way. A little barfing last week, but I think that was the heat.

I am nearly fully recovered from the injuries from my fall. My leg is back to normal, my neck and back are good, my hand is nearly healed, my lip has a large lumpy scar tissue inside which isn't visible outside, and is slightly numb at that spot. I'm good for another 10 years.

Memory Eternal, Uncle Mero and Aunt JoAnne

School's Out!

2006-06-14T13:36:00.000-07:00

Wow! Willem has graduated from middle school, Justin has graduated from elementary school (with a great report card, by the way), and Milana has graduated from 2nd grade (also a great report card)! Where has the time gone?

There was a low-key ceremony at the middle school for the graduates, and of course they started off recognizing the high achievers. George's mom leaned over to me and said "that wouldn't be us". George sat in the crowd with his usual alien-from-another-world look on his face. Willem was dignified and elegant in black pants and shirt, and he wore his yellow Show Choir tie. By the way, he made first call backs for high school Show Choir, but was not selected to join. Only three kids from Edison were picked. He's not sorry, though, because there are other things he wants to try.

Justin has been placed in advanced math for 6th grade, and he's very proud. Now that he's 11, he's trying on a bad boy persona, with the band and the long hair. He thinks he has to misbehave more now, even though he doesn't really want to. Deep down he really likes rules, and he enjoys following them and competing for achievement.

We have re-painted the boy's room a soft white with a bluish tinge. The formerly banana yellow walls with scuff marks, poster holes and crayon marks are history, as is the dark blue ceiling which is now white. I can recommend Ace Hardware's High Hiding White completely! Everything took two coats, and primer didn't help. The trim is a soft butter cream yellow, one of my favorite colors. This chore will always be one of my happiest memories. We spent most of the day Saturday painting, the kids helping out industriously, but we only finished half the room because of the two-coat issue. The room was literally divided down the middle with the before and after halves competing. We had dinner, watched a short movie, fell into bed. On Sunday, I said we would finish up after church, but Justin and Milana had already put on their painting clothes and were raring to go. I said I really wanted to go to church. They proposed letting me go by myself while they painted. I didn't believe them, but ok. I was gone an hour and a half, I came home and they were done with the first coat, and were starting the second coat! I have never been so touched! Milana was covered in paint, there was more paint on the floor than before we started in spite of drop cloths, but I absolutely did not care. The rare pleasure of actually having real help on a very hard job was worth it all.

I've had five inquiries on my house, all from Craig's list. There's a creepy underworld of rehabbers out there, isn't there? One who contacted me wanted to know if he got an appraisal for $50,000 over what I'm asking, would I give him the cash back at closing? What???? And pay my realtor a commission on that $50,000? He wanted to know if the basement ceiling is high enough to put an apartment down there, and does the City inspect? I quickly imagined the hate mail my former neighbors would send me because I sold my house to a guy who turned it into an illegal 3-flat, and now 8 cars are parked in the driveway.

Our friends the Hoogendyk's have moved to Vancouver. We were very sad to see them go. I haven't re-rented the apartment. The whole neighborhood seems so quiet without them. Our neighbors the Conroys especially miss them, because Tommy and Jude had become best friends.

We're going to have one more garage sale Saturday, and then everything goes to charity. There won't be anymore time for garage sales. Next week, the boys go to Deanery Camp. Justin has been complaining for 3 years that Willem gets to go and he doesn't, and now he's old enough and he says he's scared to go because the big boys throw the younger boys into the lake. And why do they have to go all the way to Wisconsin? I told him he's going to have a great time.

2006-05-15T10:54:00.000-07:00

Long time, no post. We are moving our lives along swiftly! I've had a realtor over, I am working on some finishing things for the house, the kids are busy with end of year stuff. Here's what's going on:

House: Putting it on the market this month. I had a guy who specializes in fixer-uppers over to evaluate the market for the house. I'm meeting him tonight to hear what he has to say. I'm considering also going with a Mexican realtor, since at least half the people viewing my neighbor's house were Mexican, and a Mexican family bought Marie Anne's house on the corner. I am clearing clutter, cleaning and finishing up plaster repair and painting, and bathroom. I am debating carpeting the hardwood floors since I can't picture refinishing them while we are still living there. Not decided yet. My marvelous kids cleaned the garage one day after school!!! We had a garage sale two weekends ago, and made a measly $30, but everyone else had a garage sale that day too, so we may try again. We are now decluttering the basement, and sorting through books.

Willem: Finished with the show choir season. Working on bringing his grades up. Auditioning for South Show Choir Tuesday! He's anxious - he really wants to get in! We have the DVD for family and friends who want to see his Chicagoland Showcase performance where they placed as 1st runner up. Sort of like Miss America, if the winner can't fulfill its duties, yadda yadda. He's started learning wood carving, but seems to have given up. He's made some cute fish out of polymer clay, and we learned how to bake them.

Justin: In a production of Wizard of Oz at Wheaton Warrenville South. He is a Flying Monkey. The Monkeys have the best costumes, but are on the stage for the briefest time - around 30 seconds or so. He will be in two performances, which are all sold out. I will order the DVD for family and friends who want to see it. He has lost his sleeves in one of the boys bathrooms, and I hope they either find them, or give me more fake fur to make another pair. Justin is also in a band, "School Inappropriate" and is growing his hair out. If only they could play their instruments! He's working on his sumi-e painting.

Milana: Growing tall, smart, sassy and moody. She is mourning these last few weeks the anticipated separation from her beloved teacher, Ms. Darin. She's done with Brownies for the year, and has tons of badges for me to sew on her vest. She is also mourning the soon to depart Esme, who is moving to Vancouver with her parents and brother on May 31. She's working on singing, singing, singing!

Cat: A royal pain during the night. Needs to go outside around 3 am or so, as he doesn't like the litter box. ALWAYS ASKS ME! Can't get back to sleep afterward. Am VERY TIRED. Perhaps he would like a little house outside? Perhaps he needs to be made aware that he is Justin's cat? Has made a tender friendship with the female Siamese who lives behind us. She has beautiful violet eyes! He stares at her house until she comes out.

Fish: One left. I accidentally unplugged the heater on the tank, and the two shy, big fish died! We are down to one fish, Cutie Pie (or is it Sweetie Pie? Consult Milana.) Moved him to a smaller venue with bubbler and heater while awaiting the arrival of motivation to clean out the big tank. He has grown quite a bit, since Milana is overfeeding him and he can't waste a bite.

Work: Finishing HUD application - submitting Friday. Then, will begin and finish CDBG application and submit by 31st. All of this to continue funding my job. This is very stressful, since I haven't done these two applications before and if I mess up, no more money! My neck hurts, I'm tired, I'm overeating. Whine! On the plus side, my current class series is going well.

Crafts: Finished Charlotte's adorable top. Now, it is too cold for her to wear it. Finished an ultra-soft chenille ascot, finishing Esme's Harry Potter Scarf. Started a pair of socks in Italian sock yarn for me to wear to work. Why yes, it IS more expensive and time consuming to knit your socks rather than buy them, but it's the skill and experience I'm after. I'm doing them from the toe up in Turkish figure eight cast on. So far, so good.

Garden: Turned some soil, it's rained for a week since. Isaiah has been good enough to pull the garlic mustard, and he was trying to cut the grass in the rain yesterday. I told him the grass was too wet. We transplanted one of the thousands of maple seedlings from an inconvenient place to the front yard, to cast more shade, and one into that hole we have in the driveway where another tree used to be to cast shade down the driveway. So far, they are doing well. I have two huge pink flowers on my tree peony! I have thousands of buds on my rose bushes! I have a volunteer pine tree! Willem and Justin want to plant stuff and make the garden look good.

Love to everyone!

Flickr

2006-03-23T13:43:00.000-08:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Artists in the House

2006-03-23T11:18:00.000-08:00

Willem's show choir, Electric Youth, won 1st runner up at the Chicagoland Showcase last Friday! I was so proud of him. He is really charismatic on stage, and his features don't wash out in the bright lights. I think he was born to perform! Not a shy bone in his body, and he's a good dancer, too. (He's in the back towards the right with a white rectangle in front of part of his face). ***I just posted a better image to Flickr! I can't believe I did it myself!***

Since we don't have cable anymore, and can't get network tv either, my kids have devoted so much more time to their own creativity. Willem has a long list of things he wants to do, he and Justin are both writing fiction stories which are really interesting, Milana draws and draws and paints and paints. We're going to do some needle felting on a denim jacket with her designs. Both the boys have learned to knit. Justin draws awesome cars and Egyptian gods. Willem is a poet. Milana loves to sing and she makes up her own songs under the themes of Dandelion Songs, But It Might Not Happen songs, long story-telling songs. She has a very peppy cheerful song that goes "Drugs, drugs, drugs, drugs, drugs, drugs, drugs, drugs are bad!"

A World Gone Mad

2006-03-08T11:04:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but this has been such a week already! Like I've said, I don't like to dwell on work outside the office, but such remarkable things have happened I just have to say something.

I work for a non-profit developer of housing for low-moderate income people. The City of Chicago gives us vacant lots that it owns to use for our development. We have developed plans for construction for 2006, and funding applications are submitted and a New Homes for Chicago grant application is underway. Then, just like that, Alderman Ed Smith yanks away the city lots and gives them to a for-profit developer! Now, we have no lots to build on!

Then, a guy who just closed on a house we built last year had everything stolen out of it, including the furnace and hot water heater. Our condos across the street were cleaned out, too. The man hadn't even moved in yet.

And then, a guy scheduled to close on a condo Friday doesn't show up. His attorney is there, his realtor is there, the money has been wired from the bank, and he never shows. We still don't know what happened.

I'm getting a dryer delivered today. What are my chances?

Willem is back from DC, of course, and he had a good time. He had spent all his money by Saturday morning buying two more disposable cameras and a game cube game for himself. He goes all that way, and ends up in EB Games. I really don't know other people who are as consistent as he is.

Justin said this morning that he missed Willem "really, really bad" all weekend, and now that he's back he wishes he would go away again because he can't stop telling ghost stories from the ghost walk they took. He swears he saw a ghost, and Justin has slept badly for two nights.

Willem the Conquerer

2006-03-01T13:11:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well! There IS a payoff for raising children! Willem, my dreamy, vague, handsome, non-linear thinking, artistic, soulful, non-listening son knocked me down with the news that he had the second highest ISAT score in social studies from among his teacher's classes! And I thought he was one of the kids they would bribe to be away from school that day! And he mentioned it in such an off-hand way. I startled him with my teary look, I think.

He's off to Washington D.C. this weekend. I'm still afraid he'll misplace all his clothes and money, though. Good thing he's big - the chaperones can see him if he wanders off.

A Fun Weekend

2006-01-23T12:41:00.000-08:00

Once in a while, I look around myself and I realize I'm in a rut. Work, home to spend 2 hours with my kids before bedtime, sleep, the off-to-school rush, work some more, etc. I even worked Saturday teaching a homeownership seminar! And I was bushed - I woke up at 3 am worrying that I had forgotten something. By afternoon, I was dragging, but I had plans to go to Marina Swenson's home with Claudia with my spinning wheel.

Well, fun is so reviving, we ended up staying until 11 p.m., and Marina was asking us to stay longer! She really enjoyed the spinning lesson, and I left the wheel with her to practice with so she can decide if she really wants to buy one. I'm so not used to staying up late, I felt like I had a hangover at church! I really couldn't muster up energy for the cleaning/laundry/grocery shopping rut either, so I knit a pair of french sleeves for Elise's birthday, which is today! I'm gratified that she likes them, and they were so easy I'm going to make more of them. They're knit from side to side, instead of from wrist to fingers, in garter stitch, with some short rows for the hands and a thumb opening that's very simple. I used some of my handspun merino/tussah silk. A sweet little luxury for a sweet person!

Happy First Birthday, Esme!

2006-01-11T12:27:00.002-08:00

She's small, but dynamic and strong-willed. She is serious, but loves to rough-house. She is stylish and fashionable, but not vain. She is....Esme! And she turns one year old today! Happy Birthday, Ezzie!

Milana knew Esme wanted a "yarn doll", and we had the perfect pattern. Start to finish was six hours including finishing. I made her with a reversible face, so if you swing her sparse hair (gotta work on that part) front or back, she can be asleep, or awake. With her groovy gold and red striped leggings and red sweater, she is bright and fun. And, I think we matched Esme's hair color pretty well, too.

We're looking forward to one of Elise's cakes tonight to celebrate. We're so fortunate to have the Hoogendyk's as our child care, our tenants and our friends. They're great, fun young people and they've saved my life more than once with my kids.

Happy First Birthday, Esme!

2006-01-11T12:27:00.000-08:00

2006-01-09T08:41:00.000-08:00

Ok, Christmas is over, the new year has begun, time to put more effort into the homefront if I'm going to try to sell the house in the spring. Cleaning bedrooms and closets this past weekend to get rid of what we don't need. I'm anticipating a BIG yard sale in spring! Looking into how I can replace the basement pillars myself, since they are rotted. I don't know how people lived here before us - until we fixed the sewers, water must have been standing in the basement all spring and part of fall. Also looking into floor sanding and refinishing. The maitenance guy at my office recommended a friend, so I'll ask him for a quote and references. Wall plastering and painting I'm a pro at. Just have my bedroom and the little hallway in front of the bathroom left to plaster, and then painting those, the back hallway, and the boys room and touchups in the living room after repairing the leak in the ceiling. Bathroom vanity, too. I feel jazzed about this instead of overwhelmed, which is a switch, so I hope the feeling carries through to the end.

Happy New Year

2005-12-30T12:27:00.000-08:00

We had a good time in Milwaukee seeing family in a whirlwind weekend, and leaving our usual pile of stuff behind for Auntie Judy to locate and hold for us. Some great cousin memories, I'm sure. I was touched by the sight of Uncle Steve teaching all the boys, from the two year old on up, to play poker.

The time at home was too short for me. Kids have been with friends all week, getting their fill of hours of play time before the grind of school starts next week. We're thinking of going bowling New Year's Eve. If it's cold enough, outdoor iceskating, but it's supposed to hover just above freezing. I can't wrap my mind around school. It feels like a vague memory right now. I've never been a mother who likes to see her kids go back to school - I like the people they are when they are relaxed and at home instead of tired and stressed. And now that I work until 7 pm, I don't feel like I take good enough care of them. But I do see the increased independence in them, and I like that. It's a greater resiliency and self-reliance. Willem is totally looking forward to going back to school(!) because he will have show choir practice every morning. Justin is too, because he wants to see if anyone notices his new eye.

I'm teaching Gail to knit. She's left handed, so it's a challenge, but kind of fun to do the knit and purl stitch in mirror image. I'm anxious to finish Justin's sweater this weekend and see it on him, and then start something new. I've had requests for gloves, which I've never done before, and I want to make myself some bedsocks and leg warmers. Now that my blood pressure is back to normal, my feet are once again cold and crampy in bed. I want to make some french sleeves out of my handspun alpaca for Elise, since she has a dream to own llamas and alpacas and likes the natural colors they come in.

Some Time at Home

2005-12-19T14:16:00.000-08:00

My poor Milana had a high fever for several days, so I was off work Thursday to stay with her. She slept a long, long time, and while she wasn't much better Friday, I had to take Justin to Rockford to get his new eye. It looks great, and it was so fun to spend the whole day just with him. He is such a little man now, all arms and legs and restlessness, but forcing himself to be patient.

We spent a lot of time watching movies Saturday because Milana was still so weak and sick. She had been eating only jello for three days, and barely a few spoons of that. We watched Princess Diaries II, Madeline, 101 Dalmatians, Beauty and the Beast, etc. My pick was Breakfast at Tiffany's, which the kids all loved and requested a second time! Sunday, I dropped the boys off at church, and came home to my sick girl. It's great to be down the street from the church! She has a very barking, smokers cough now and a very stuffy nose, but no more fever.

I didn't get as much done on Justin's sweater as I would have liked, but I'm past the armpits and onto the back. It seems Christmas has come up so quickly this year! I formed a knitting/crocheting/craft group at work, so maybe I'll keep motivated to knit all year for Christmas, and not try to get everything made between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Marina Swenson has the spinning bug, so I'm going to go to her house after the new year and let her try my wheel so she can decide if she really wants one of her own. She is very into the naturalness of the whole thing - it's great! I'm so glad to get to know her, but sorry that she's 85 and frail. She describes herself as "15 to 100!"

I couldn't get into the ordeal of setting up the tree this year. I have to move so much furniture to create a spot, and then the tree is so heavy, and I cut up my hands getting it up and lighted, plus this year we have the added concern of the cat, who likes to climb, knocking it down and breaking favorite ornaments. I decided a table top tree on my glass and iron table would do the trick, so I priced them at TJ Maxx and Homegoods. They ran from 25 to 55 dollars, but the one I liked the best was a simple grapevine item with fake berries, which I realized I could make myself. So, off to home where I found my largest patinaed tomato cage, cut some grapvine from behind the garage, and found the box of fake berries I had gotten from a garage sale two years ago. In all, the materials cost $3.50 for the berries. I wired everything on, put a gold ball ornament on top for a star, and set it on a deep purple velvet cloth. It looks great! I could wire it with lights if I want, but I love the naturalness of the look as is. I went so far as to wire grapevine to my window top and string red wooden bead garland through it. I think it looks good enough to leave up all year.

I had the boys cleaning their rooms before sledding Saturday, and they brandished the vacuum cleaner so vigorously that Willem gave himself a round hickey on his face with it! Maximum Doofusness still reigns!

It's a knitting world

2005-12-13T14:41:00.000-08:00

So, just for fun, I emailed the world at work to see if anyone else brings projects to work to do during lunch. A few people have knit and crochet things, and we're going to try to make it a lunch-time project finishing get together, but the surprising part is the director of the senior living facility here asked me to offer a class for her seniors! It might be fun - it might be awful. I'm going to try it in January or February. I passed by the senior bingo game today, and saw the facilitator shouting out the numbers very loudly. I don't know if that can be done for a knitting class - "PUT THE NEEDLE INTO THE FRONT OF THE STITCH! WRAP THE YARN OVER THE RIGHT HAND NEEDLE!" - since I've only taught one or two people at a time before. What I'm hoping is that we will bring lifetime knitters out of the woodwork who will teach me something, and we can work at getting some charity projects done, or some Christmas projects for next year.

Our cultural arts department is having a quilt piecing workshop tomorrow morning, which could be fun. I enjoyed the quilt I made with my Sunday School class two years ago. In the African American community, the quilting tradition is a very emotional one, and I'd love to take part in the class if I can. It's all handwork rather than machine stitching.

I'm making good time on Justin's red sweater. I had to rip out everything I'd done over the weekend because it was WAY TOO BIG, but I've made up that ground and then some. I hope he likes it.

Willem got all dressed up today in a tie and everything to go on the 8th grade trip to see "A Christmas Carol "at Drury Lane. He's really enjoying 8th grade in a social way. He went last weekend to the Murder Mystery with Gabe and Neil. The kids make up their costumes for their characters, and they are given roles to play and nobody knows who the murderer is until the end. I don't know how I feel about making a game out of murder. I like the fact that the kids are engaged fully in a creative activity that is mental, kinetic, verbal and visual as well as social. I just wish it wasn't murder oriented. But, he enjoyed himself, and re-met a girl from last year who lives in Glen Ellyn. He didn't know enough to get her address or phone number, which is fine by me, but he enjoyed the flirtation.

Justin's done great things for me with my new cell phone. He changed everything I needed changed, he offered to do things I hadn't thought of, and he showed me how to choose a ring tone. I couldn't have electronics if I didn't have kids, but I probably wouldn't want them then, anyway.

More big snow coming tomorrow!

I always cry at the Christmas pageant

2005-12-12T13:33:00.000-08:00

No matter how many times I've seen it now (ten, I think) I always have tears leaking down my face because of those sweet little girl angels, and the wise men tripping over their robes, and the little pre-schoolers crawling around like animals in the manger. And the kids are always fooled by "St. Nicholas". Little Penny started to cry and wiggle off his lap, even though this year it was her dad. What great memories for the little ones to carry around. Especially the little boy who responded to Fr. John's question about how St. Nicholas would get in without a chimney by piping urgently "He's in the bathroom! The boy's bathroom!" I love it!

First snowstorm

2005-12-08T14:06:00.000-08:00

It is snowing very heavily now, and of course I have a training seminar to give off-site tonight. I can only hope my students will not come, so I can leave early. We shall see. It is a solar-shingle training, to explain to my new homeowners how the solar shingles on their homes work, how maintenance-free they are, and how to recognize a problem, which is promised to be rare to non-existent. The seminar will be led by a consultant who flew in from DC today for this purpose. A photographer is coming, too. This is why, folks, it is snowing. If I had nothing to do tonight, it would simply be horribly cold. Now, it is snowing. Heavily. I'm whining!!!

If life were a little different, right now I would be piling sleds into my van and hauling children to President's Park to sled until they were soaked, frozen and starving. I try to time departure for just before someone starts crying, but well beyond when they have become silent from fatigue. If Milana has fallen flat on her face on the way up the hill, we're close. If Justin has, we're ready. Then, home for hot cocoa, comic books and bedtime. I heard a warm up was due this weekend, so we may lose this snow before we are able to do that.

Marzipan and Goose to you, too.

2005-12-05T10:55:00.000-08:00

Justin's been researching German Christmas customs for a school project. As we ate dinner Saturday night, he said "Mom, I need some marzipan for school on Monday." I said "Marzipan!?" He said, "Or, some goose." I said "Goose!?" "Yeah, we're having our international Christmas feast, and I have to bring something from Germany." I thought for a while. "How about some cookies?" We found some Pfefferneuse, after asking the clerk at Jewel if she had any Hassenpfeffer ("Oh, we don't have rabbit") and some frosted gingerbread men. I think he was just happy I didn't fry up some sausage and send it with him to school in a steaming hot plastic bag. He'll be a much more popular kid with cookies. I hope I get a good grade on the treats.

This is my absolute favorite part of motherhood - being asked for outlandish things at a moments notice. It really, when you think about it, is a direct tunnel into my child's mind at that very moment, which as they get older is becoming rarer. Like before Halloween this year... Willem said "Do we have any plywood?" I said "Yes, what do you need it for?" He said "My Halloween costume." I said "WHA....!! Do you have any idea how heavy plywood is?" "Oh, and do we have a saw?" I like the absolute faith my kids demonstrate that I will have exactly what they need, and I will magically be able to make the vision come true. Even while they lose the sense of my omnipotence in other areas, they still never think to question that yes, Mom will have plywood and a saw and I will be able to make a Halloween costume, and yes, Mom has Marzipan and goose available for school Monday. We may not have bread for a sandwich, but we have Marzipan and goose. Is Marzipan supposed to be capitalized?

I missed my son's stage debut!

2005-12-02T09:31:00.000-08:00

Can you believe District 200 would schedule the holiday concerts for the elementary and middle schools on the same day? So, trying to be a good supportive parent, I rushed my elementary schoolers out of their own concert before the end (but after their parts, at least) and raced to the middle school, only to find I had missed Willem's part by MINUTES! How cruel is that? I'm disgruntled.

At least Milana had the dress of her dreams - black satin sleeveless, princess lines, rhinestone buckle and pink velvet shawl! Black fishnet stockings and red sparkly Dorothy shoes completed her ensemble. Justin looked marvelous in his white shirt and tie, and Willem's show choir costume was appropriately theatrical - black pants and shirt with Big Bird yellow tie. Would have been nice to see him perform in it, wouldn't it? At least I can order the DVD.

Watching the elementary school concert, I was reminiscing on the days when Willem was in kindergarten, and we watched him up on the risers, standing with his hands in his pockets looking around while his class was singing. Although I know he's not shy and he has a lot of talent, I never would have guessed how much enthusiasm he would have for show choir. He's basking in the social adulation that comes with stardom as well, which is so cute. (If he reads this, he will be so humiliated.)

Justin wants lessons this summer in drums, which I hope we can arrange, and Milana says she wants to go out for basketball. Why do they grow up so fast?

Happy Thanksgiving!

2005-11-23T07:39:00.000-08:00

I'm so happy to see the snow today! I love snow, and it's not all that cold today, either. JJ played out in the snow this morning while I put garbage cans at the curb, and he seemed to enjoy himself well. It's gotten easier to coax him back into the house - I just waggle a scarf with fringe on it, and he comes stalking.

I have been invited over Thursday by the gracious Marina Swenson. I'm looking forward to it very much. Claudia will be there, and we are to bring our knitting or crocheting projects along.

Our little family is going to celebrate on Friday, while my kids are celebrating with their dad on Thursday. Chicken and ham have been requested instead of turkey, along with "Eli's sweet potatoes". I've got some orange/cardamon cookies from Trader Joe's that I will dip in chocolate, and we will make a pumpkin pie or two. I hope the snow sticks around, but I doubt it will.

I don't really think about my job when I'm not there, but I feel relieved and satisfied at having passed the Department of Housing site visit yesterday. My CDBG grant is due Monday, and I'm nearly done, then the HUD recertification is due next month. Lots of reporting!

I've made swift progress on a stack of washcloths, and have a few more to do. Then, I will be knitting some flower pins, too, and maybe some argyle slippers if I have time. And, for a few minutes before bedtime, I'm reading a little from "Pigs Have Wings" by P.G. Wodehouse, or "A North Country Notebook" by George Vukelich. I had forgotten that years ago, I had gotten that book autographed by the author, and it was a pleasant surprise to open it again and find the inscription.

On cold mornings, Justin likes to have a cup of coffee. I brew a weak batch of Holiday Cinnamon Dunkin Donuts coffee, and mix 1 part coffee with 3 parts milk for him. He claims to feel reinvigorated, so I haven't told him it's decaf. When they come home from school, they make good headway on the huge vat of hot cocoa mix that Claudia gave them.

The Circle of Life

2005-11-14T12:50:00.000-08:00

Well....JJ practiced very, very hard and soon, he was able to jump from the floor to the birdcage. After three of these, after I peeled him off the side of the cage, he waited until I went down for another load of laundry, and he made a fourth jump. He knocked it down off the stereo cabinet, it fell, parts of cage scattered everywhere, and he had a screaming parakeet in his mouth. I grabbed him, the bird got free, he swatted it back down and back into his mouth. I grabbed him again, he let her go, and she flew up to the top of a window casing. I could not see the other bird anywhere.

I put him into the bathroom and searched for birds. They aren't people friendly enough to let me touch them or sit on my finger, so they flew around panicked. I decided to let them be to calm down, so I put JJ in the basement. Within an hour or so, the kids came home, and we hunted for birds. One walked out from behind my antique marble topped dresser in the living room, and stood looking at us. Of course, I approached too quickly, and she flew around until she ended up behind the piano. Justin and I took turns urging her out, until she was close enough for me to grab her, but she bit me really hard! I held on, and put her into the reassembled cage.

The other one was a little more fiesty. I think she was the one who had escaped the maw of death. She screamed when we got too close, and managed to get away after we had her cornered behind the bookcase. She flew around past the kitchen and ducked behind the fish tank stand. I opened the door, reached for her, she flew out and Justin caught her in the air! She bit him, he handed her to me, she bit me, but I held on, and we got her back in the cage.
We have opened the lid on the stereo stand and put the cage on the top shelf, and faced the door to the wall so the cage can't be knocked down again. I just called Elise - she says JJ is sitting on the floor looking at the birds.

Don't you think we need a dog to complete this predator/prey experiment we have going?

I have noticed, however, on his weekends alone with me, he is very naughty. I think he grieves for his kids, and being a cat, doesn't realize they will be coming back. Since the jade trees have come in from outside, he has been "climbing" them, eventhough they are less than 3 feet in height. He enjoys digging the dirt out of the bigger one, and I have developed the red flyswatter method of discouraging him. It's like having a toddler, only with fur and claws. But, we love him anyway. Good thing he's cute.

A night at the Opera

2005-11-14T11:21:00.000-08:00

We drove up to Milwaukee yesterday to see Deda in "Fidelio". It was so wonderful! The best part for me was sitting in Uihlein Hall, site of so many pleasant memories, with my children watching a long opera sung in German and enjoying it! Other than the video version of "Cats", Willem and Milana have never seen an opera. Justin had been to "The Lion King" with the Dorfs. It makes it extra special to see a family member on stage, too. An added incentive to pay attention. Justin said he loved it, but had no idea what was going on, but Willem said he understood it totally, and even explained it all to us. And they liked it! Then, on to Pizza Man for dinner and back home in the gusty winds. A lovely, fun day.

2005-11-08T10:28:00.000-08:00

What a lovely fall this is! The leaves have been more brilliant than ever, haven't they? Elise and all the children have been enjoying raking them up and jumping in them. That's always my favorite fall picture!

Milana had a fun birthday party with Tea, Dom, Kate, Emily and Olivia at the clay studio at the community center. They made cute wall plaques that will be fired and glazed and ready by next Saturday. It's so fun to create together, everyone inspires each other with their ideas.

Speaking of inspiration, Willem is so happy performing with the Electric Youth show choir that he says those are the days he is actually anxious to get to school. He is a very creative person in so many ways - singing, dancing, he's back into playing piano, drawing, sculpy sculpture, and now writing a sci-fi fantasy story. I'm anxious to see where this leads him. He toyed with trying out for the school play, but decided against it. I think he would enjoy drama, too, because he is not a shy person and he enjoys the art and the adulation. Not to mention being really cute! He auditioned for a solo for show choir, but didn't get it. He wasn't down about it, though, just took it in his stride. I feel a little bit like I can exhale somewhat because he has found his passion.

Justin is growing like a weed. He is taller everyday, and his pants are shorter! $$Ka-Ching!$$
We just made a trip to Target to get some more pants this past weekend. Luckily, his feet do not grow very fast, and he can wear his shoes out before he grows out of them. He's busy acclimating our new birds to him. He has managed to get Turquoise to put one foot on his finger, but I think the bird is not meaning it in a trusting, friendly way. However, the birds now seem to watch us from the cage, which they didn't do before, and don't seem so startled when we come and talk to them. So, Dr. Justin Doolittle continues his work among the animals.

I've been knitting chenille wash cloths for Christmas gifts, and it's a project that is just the right size for me now. I can finish 1.5 without sweating per day, 2 if I sweat. I don't like to sweat, so I'm taking my time. I found the Tangled Web yarn shop in Oak Park, a mere five minutes from my office, and picked up some yummy colors in chenille. I covet their front door, made by a metal artist who used to rent the space behind them. It's just an old door embellished with found objects and cold worked bronze impressions of scissors and stuff applied to the door. It's another thing I want to do now, since I have old doors galore in my basement.

SSHH! It's a secret!

2005-10-21T11:24:00.000-07:00

I told Justin this morning that the Farin cousins are allergic to their pet birds, and he immediately piped up "Can we have them?" He is almost hyperventilating over the idea. I didn't tell him that we are in fact going to have the birds (thanks, cousins) because I want him to be able to concentrate on school work and not be all bird-brained for the next week. This will make our menagerie three-fold - cat, fish and birds. Today, I called about a free Yorkie puppy being given away, and the lady took my information to decide who would be the best choice for her little dog. Can you imagine what will happen at Chez Stewart if I can produce a grand slam like that one? Other than medical bills for JJ, our pets have all been free, which is the funnest way to get them.

Willem had his first dance yesterday evening. My baby! He said it was "Great!" I asked if it was everything he had hoped and dreamed, and he said "Yes!" I asked if he actually danced with a girl, and he said "yes, finally!" Her friends swarmed all over him to ask if he "liked her" and he said "I think my answer to that is going to be yes!" He didn't have the courage to ask the girl he told me he wanted to ask, but he is thrilled with what happened. He said one boy kissed his dance partner, and the dance floor cleared in shock, and some people took pictures. Apparently, the hit of the evening was actually the snack bar, since he said it was mobbed as soon as it opened. It is melting my heart to watch Willem go through this young teenage transition! He seems so eager for this new teenage life, but so shy and vulnerable as well. I'm just glad he is still willing to tell me things. Although often that impulse is garbled. Elise called me at 4:00 yesterday to say that Willem's bike was gone, but his backpack was in the garage, and she didn't know what to think. As we were pondering together, Willem rode up with Justin trotting alongside. He had gone to Lincoln school to get his brother! Elise put him on the phone. I asked if he had told Elise where he was going, and he said "Well, my backpack was in the garage!" I told him his backpack wasn't talking, but he had to tell her if he was going anywhere.
Then, poor Elise was again traumatized when the Brownie leader and Kim showed up at the house wanting to know where Milana was. Apparently, she didn't wait for Kim to pick her up at the meeting, but simply left and walked home by herself. This is so not like her, because she hates to walk anywhere. She says she didn't remember me telling her Kim would bring her home. Luckily, Elise chooses to see this all as a great learning opportunity against the day when her kids are doing stuff like this.

I took some classes in Word and Excel this week, and I learned that I can get my regular pictures put on a CD for the computer! This is what I am going to do, because I can't mess around with this digital camera anymore.

JJ goes to the doctor

2005-10-17T12:04:00.000-07:00

This morning, Justin and I took JJ into the vet to be neutered. I just called, he is ok, and the staff think he's a cutie. We do too, and it's so odd because he's quite the no holds barred wrestler, often leaving evidence on our skin. He's a big six pounds now! In spite of the unfair advantage, we decided not to declaw him because he has so darn much fun running sideways on whatever he can grip, and he is very quick about running through any crack in the door outside, so he needs to be able to defend himself from the many other creatures in our woodsy backyard. Coyote and fox are not unknown to us here on Naperville road!

Happy Birthday to Me!

2005-10-11T11:01:00.000-07:00

I have the best kids in the world! I turned 45 Monday, and for my Birthday Weekend (because I needed a whole weekend of Me Time) they helped me rip up the rest of my carpeting in the living room and the ugly whitish tile in front of the fireplace and entry door. We discovered beautiful original 80 year old terra cotta tile under the white stuff in front of the fireplace, and Justin and Milana are pros at chipping off the glue. ( I'm developing a sanding strategy that will be cheap and not involve having to move all our furniture out to the yard for two days. This may take some time. ) My children worked like mules alongside me, and no one complained! This earned the boys some serious gamecube time, while Milana and I went to the Danada Equestrian Center Horse Festival on Sunday afternoon. It was lots of fun, and a beautiful day, too.

My Dad was over replacing the iron railing on the front steps with a wooden one, and not a moment too soon as the iron railings were thoroughly rotted and wobbly. Getting all this help is so great! I've had to learn how to ask, because I'm such a do-it-all-myself person. There isn't enough time in the world to do it all myself. Our next home will be maintenance free, I have pledged. I will spend no time fixing anything unless it's an elective. Systems will be simple and well-maintained.

It's also satisfying to see my own vision come to pass in my house, my own taste and my own style.

Along the way during my remodeling projects, I have found shocking examples of shoddy workmanship on the part of the previous owner. The best one is still the cardboard she put up in the shower as a tile underlayment, but this new one is good, too. In the gap between the hearth tiles and the fireplace, she twisted newspaper into a rope, stuffed it in the crack, and caulked over it and then grouted over that. I'm so glad I never have used the fireplace, because I'm sure this newspaper would have started on fire, and the caulk, and it would be too much to hope that she used fireproof paint inside the firebox. I'm also thankful that she sold the house to us without a working furnace, because I'm sure she would have had it installed improperly, and we may be dead by now.

All my clutter has yet to be mastered, but I'm chipping away at it. Many things are going to the school resale this weekend, and many more to another garage sale to be held before it gets too much cooler out. The living room is great now, with everything in its place, and room to stretch out. I often despair of ever finding a buyer, but Elise reassures me that it is actually a very nice house, and it should sell without too much trouble. She's such a positive person, it's great to have her around.

I had a physical Monday because I've had migraines this summer. My blood pressure was discovered to be 145/120!! Dr. Kim said my stiff neck and fatigue are also symptomatic of high blood pressure, because the body releases excess adrenalin in response to the increased blood pressure. These are symptoms I have never heard associated with high blood pressure. I'm on a beta blocker, and will return Thursday for a cholesterol "panel", and some other tests will be run to assess kidney function, thyroid function, metabolic function, etc. She also mentioned a stress test. I had an EKG in the office Monday, which showed my heart rhythm as normal. If I do well on the beta blocker, which I think I am, she will add a diuretic.

This is a huge wake up call for me. I didn't think I would be facing this kind of issue at 45. I'm going to ask Dr. Kim's advice on the best diet for me, and I'm going to stick with it, because I want to be there for my kids, and their kids. I'm sure all the stress I have been under the past 10 years has contributed, but heredity plays a larger role, and I do have a background in the family of heart disease, high blood pressure, kidney disease, thyroid disease, stroke, etc. The beta blocker is giving me a more mellowed out feeling, which I think is an easing up of the adrenalin. It's funny how easy it is to get used to a chronic panicky feeling. I had been thinking, well, when the house is finished and sold and I don't have so many financial worries, I'll relax. Now, I'm looking forward to finishing these tasks and making these life transitions with a more relaxed felling behind me. This will benefit my family, as I can be short tempered without warning, which I can now see has been largely the adrenalin.

She also agrees that I may have some thyroid issues due to the hair loss, the hard eyeballs and fatigue. I totally expect that to be true. This is turning out to be a year of rehab inside and out!

Love to all!

Cats!

2005-10-06T08:09:00.000-07:00

The Siamese Cat was still in the house! I heard him at 5:00 am, got up and scared him into the basement and shut the basement door. He has been hiding out in my house for 4 days! The eats are good, the hiding is good, why not? I once again left the back door open, and this time he did leave, because we saw him in the garage. I'm still amazed at how easily JJ accommodated another cat in the house with no perceptable change in behavior. Other than the night time noises, we had no clue!

JJ is such a nice cat, all the more obvious when compared to the bad temper of the Siamese, who hissed at me and wouldn't approach. JJ is also very funny, with a very amusing way of being. I wonder what he is thinking sometimes. He will often lie on someone's bed in a very relaxed posture, on one side, legs extended in a relaxed pose, head slightly leaning off the mattress, and then he will let gravity just ride him down the edge and onto the floor, only coming to life just when he is about to hit the floor. That is so like something Justin would do!

Fun Things

2005-10-05T10:39:00.000-07:00

This morning at 5:30 a.m., my son whispered "Mom"...I grunted. He whispered "MOM"...I said "wha.." He said "There's a Siamese cat in our house!" I jumped up. He was right, there was, and it was in the basement.

We have a cat, but he is a striped grey tabby, and considerably smaller than the white and tan huge Siamese that was hissing at me from the doorway of my toolroom. I called "Here, kitty, kitty" just like I have heard you must do, and the cat actually approached, but not too close. I saw it wasn't going to shoot past me out the open back door like I had hoped, so I left the open door, closed the upstairs door, checked in a few minutes and it was gone.

I had noticed for the past three nights that strange cat sounds had been happening, but I attributed them to our own cat, who is young but maturing. I also noticed how hungry he seemed, even though we fill his bowl generously in the morning and again at night. I have a feeling we have had this Siamese stowaway for three days! It has been eating JJ's food, hiding in the basement when we are home, and hissing around the house when we are sleeping. And JJ never let on! I know who this Siamese belongs to, and I'm amazed they haven't asked around for it. We're going to try to lock the door more often, but with kids running in and out, that may be hard to do.

The Youngest Boy chose the dinner for tonight - a frozen seafood lasagne. I'm interested to see just how resentful the Picky Eaters are!

For a really funny read, go to www.singlechickentheory.com. It will make you laugh out loud.

Love to all.

October 3, 2005

2005-10-03T14:06:00.000-07:00

I'm still working on working my $5 digital camera, but unsuccessfully. You get what you pay for, right? I wanted to post some pictures of my kids today because they are changing so rapidly.

My Oldest Boy got himself ready for school today with no input from me, including showering! I think he has new hope for himself at school because today was the first day of his study skills class, and he had to drop French to take it, which he was more than ready to do because the class was moving too fast for him. I think this is one positive aspect of No Child Left Behind. I have been complaining to the school since he was in 3rd grade that he needed in-school help with study skills, and it is finally 8th grade when he gets the help. That may have something to do with 2 Wheaton schools being put on the failing list last year, and having to make changes to be removed from the list this year. The administration at his middle school has dismissed my pleas out of hand all this time, and now are more than eager to help me out. I know all the arguments about unfunded mandates, but when it is your child who has historically been left behind, it's hard to be sympathetic. It can't cost the school much to have this study skills course, and it will help Willem a lot, I hope.

We had the good fortune to view the historic wonderworking icon of our Lady of Sitka, touring the lower 48 from Alaska. Father Hadfield, who is accompanying the icon for the first half of its journey, told us that all the many native tribes of the Aleutian Archipelago and the coastal areas of Alaska had a legend that told them their faith was incomplete, and strangers would one day arrive from across the sea to bring them knowledge that would complete their faith. They would know them by their long beards and crosses. When the Russian Orthodox missionaries arrived, they were well received, and made 12,000 converts in the first 3 years. He also told dismaying stories about Protestant attempts to destroy Orthodoxy in Alaska. He said that the faith has flourished among the natives, whom the missionaries called, simply, Americans in their journals, in spite of a lack of priests for most of that time. The villages all had readers and continued to celebrate their faith. Now, St. Herman's seminary in Sitka is full, and the faith is spreading throughout Alaska. I have had a dream for a long time of visiting Alaska, and I would like to be able to take the whole family before my kids are too old to want to travel with me.

How, you may ask, is the home front progressing? Well, slowly but surely. I continue to be ruthless with books. This is a new thing for me, but I have to be honest and admit that most of them will never be read again, and only a small number of important books need to be kept. How many copies of atlases does a family need? I love PG Wodehouse, but will I read the Jeeves series for a 4th time? Life is short, and there are other books I have yet to read that are calling me. Am I going to use that 3D landscape planner? I can't be objective about the knitting books as yet, but the time will come. In the meantime, I am running out of storage space in my porch, so I need to have another rummage sale before I glean anything else. Then, I want to set up the art table and sufficient shelf space for my woodcuts, Willem's polymer clay and drawings, Justin's very detailed car drawings, and Milana's quilt designs. The house has been a storage space, awaiting direction, and it will become a dynamic creative center if I am successful with my strategy.

Love to all.

A beautiful day

2005-10-01T13:06:00.000-07:00

It is perfect today! The sun is hot and intense, but the air is thin and not full of water, so it's so comfortable on the skin. It's easy to be happy and optimistic on a day like today.

I tried using the digital camera, and left it at the office (argh!) My kids are so beyond me in the technical arena. Willem has designed a house using CAD in school, and is making a moving now. Justin types really fast, and Milana makes me laugh with her technical language.

We had thumbwars at lunch today, which was so fun. Milana just screams while she awaits defeat, Justin tries to get away, and Willem fights for all he's worth and wins. We disturbed the lunch crowd at Shane's Deli I'm afraid.

I cleared out a lot of young childhood books that we don't read and passed them on to Jude, who is thrilled. I tore up a little more carpeting in the LR, and hope to do more today, but it's such a nice day for having fun. Milana is going to a birthday party tonight. Miss Popular has three other invites this month plus her own to plan, and I don't know if I'll be able to keep it all straight. One of the parties requires her to dress up as a character in an American Girl book, and we're not familiar, so this should be challenging. Another is a "Twinkle Teas" party, with dressing up which she loves.

I noticed at the deli today that high school girls give my Willem a good looking over, and I'm glad the chocolate all over his face from his ice cream cone gives away his youth. He's too good looking for his own good.

We were all laughing last night about how much Justin and his cat JJ share personality traits. JJ does things just because he can and because it amuses him, and so does Justin. Their body types are similar. Justin drew whiskers on his face today with body crayons, and is walking around Downtown Wheaton like that with us. We are at the library now, checking out who has what homework online. I think everyone is caught up.

Love to all.

Hello Sweetheart

2005-09-29T10:38:00.000-07:00

I so love the little ways God shows you that He's there for you and He loves you. I've been having an awful week! At this time of year, the calls start rolling in from the middle school that the Oldest Boy is falling down in the homework department. This year also brought his first ( and I hope only ) in-school suspension for fighting. A lot of tears have been shed, mostly by me, and a lot of e-mailing has gone on back and forth with school personnel, a lot of firm talks have been given and generally, this week has lasted 14 days. On my way to work today, post-meeting with school officials, I was so sad. I've lost touch with my boy! I have become the nagging reminder Mom, a verbal post-it note - "Take a shower! Brush your teeth! Where's your homework? Is it done? Can you prove it? Where are you going?" Meanwhile, his teachers get to spend all day with a charming, talented boy who has them all wowed, despite the bad grades, with who he is. Why don't I do that instead? Why don't I let him go around as stinky as he wants to be while admiring all his qualities?

So, with head hanging low and heart heavy, I park in the lot at my office and walk in. On my way, a retired woman in a festive straw pork pie hat approaches, and instead of the usual "Hi, how you doing?" she shouts "Hi, Sweetheart!" I don't know her, she doesn't know me. God was shouting a greeting to me through her, and I heard it. Don't fret, don't worry, just change from where you are to where you want to be, and I'm there for you. I got it.

A teenager in my house

2005-09-28T08:50:00.000-07:00

I'm having trouble adjusting to my teenage boy. He's not my little boy anymore, who looked to me for every answer. I used to be his world. Now, he's searching for a new world, and I'm not sure how tightly to hold on to him or when to let him go and experience things that are scary for me to think about. I'm not talking about sex, drugs and rock n roll. I'm talking about night time football with his friends. Seems tame when I write it down, doesn't it? Tell me, an over-protective mother who has been through too much, how to lighten up.

Good & Faithful

2005-09-27T12:19:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone - I thought I would try blogging, because I love to read other people's blogs, and I hope posting will help me make an orderly sense of my life as a single parent with a rickety house, full-time job, a teenage boy, his worshipful brother, his assertive sister, a cat, several fish, too many hobbies, and a rummage sale addiction. I'm new to blogging, and I'm even newer to digital photography, so bear with me.

This is the year I clear up loose ends. I'm going to finally get rid of all my clutter (stop laughing!), finish my unfinished knitting projects, spin lots of beautiful designer yarns, organize my kids art projects into portfolios, sell the stuff I'm not using, get my car into the garage (Isaiah & Elise's car, too), sort out the books I'm never going to read again, sand and varnish my wood floors, re-install my bathroom vanity, and fix the remaining cracked plaster walls. All this by January. I can't really think about the windows right now, which are falling apart in some cases, and in serious need of reglazing in all cases. Another application of sheet plastic should suffice for this winter.

This summer, I put new peel and stick flooring in the kitchens upstairs and down in a lovely, crisp black and white checkerboard pattern. It really freshens up the kitchens, and has a very 1920's era feel. I'm stripping the paint of the walnut vanity cabinet for my bathroom, and I have scored some free marble floor tiles that I am going to cut or smash up to make a mosaic counter top. I'm not sure about re-using the old sink, or doing something new. The kids have been real sports about using the kitchen sink, as have all visitors, but it's to the point where they actually don't want a bathroom sink put in. Does that mean we have sunk to a savage low in our family? We appear to be living in a house, but we're really just indoor camping. My kids have been living in upheaval for so long, they think it's normal. Mom is always plastering/painting/scraping/refinishing/rearranging repurposing something. Willem has gotten very good at ripping up carpet nail strips!